‘Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others’ – Parker Palmer
If you ask me, self love is one of the toughest and fulfilling work anyone can do for oneself. You want to know why, just follow me.
On this journey of self discovery and purpose, the very thing that keeps us moving and covering grounds is this thing called love. Many have searched for it in the east, travelled to north, sailed to the south and walked to the west to discover where love lives but we pretty forget that ‘out of your belly shall flow rivers of living water’ , more like going to sokoto to look for what is inside your sòkòtò.
We live hectic lives that makes it difficult to give self care priority. Everything seems designed to give priority to everyone else, to work, family, friendship, coupled with general beliefs of the society that are imposed on us. All these things make us forget about ourselves.
Many times, we feel guilty wanting to make time for ourselves, we feel like we don’t have the right to do that. Dedicating time to yourself will give you energy and a level of clarity and you will find more happiness and meaning. It will help you feel better which is essential if you want to be and give your best to others.
Someone once said it is he who is well that can donate blood and you can only reflect what you have and give from your overflow.
Now, start to look out for yourself and do not feel guilty about it. This means that you are letting yourself become the best version of you so that you can do more for others.
Here are 6 things that can help you on this journey:
1. Understand that your needs are important, hence find ways to actively meet them. If you think you need help with your health, go get it.
2. Find out areas of your life causing you stress and look for the best ways to control them.
3. Embrace your emotion. This is very critical to your well-being. Learn to understand your feelings and emotion. Do not suppress your pain, rather express it (but choose where you do that).
4. Practice solitude. Have some alone time for yourself everyday. A time to be calm or doing what you want to do.
5. Recognize and appreciate people who are positive and uplifting in your life because this set of people will support you in your journey of personal growth.
6. Focus on what you can control. Stop channelling your energy on what you can not control. You achieve next to nothing by being anxious.
This reminds me of one question the good Master asked the multitude on the mountain and it was ‘which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?’ This question has changed my perspective and taught me where to channel my strength.
You need to daily remind yourself that you cannot give what you do not have, and that requires that you do all to maintain your sanity and stability and then you can give your best to others.