FORGIVENESS: A Gift Worth Giving
FORGIVENESS: A Gift Worth Giving
“Forgiveness might be hard to find, but it is worth giving”
One great gift everyone should go around with, ready to give out as much as possible and as often as they can is the gift of forgiveness.
Last weekend, after a hectic week, I thought to relax by reading a novel of one of my favourite novelist, Karen Kingsbury. I just needed to cool off, so I requested for one of her books from my sister.
My sister sent me Shades of Blue. As I began to read, I got glued to the book and found it hard to drop. That’s one of the experiences you get from reading either Karen Kingsbury books or Francine Rivers books, you just get glued till you finish reading 😂.
Shades of blue talks about 2 people who had a terrible past together and one of them, out of fear decided to leave, “forget” about the past, and “move on” with his life, leaving the other person hurting for years.
That chapter of their lives never closed until they found closure through forgiveness. Let me leave it here. Go and read the book.
What forgiveness means…
“To err is human; to forgive, divine” – Alexander Pope
As long as we exist in human flesh, we are bound to offend. We are either at the receiving end or the giving end, Husband to wife, parents to children, friends to friends, colleagues to colleagues, pastors to members, whatever relationship there is, offence must come.
How then do you handle offences?
By forgiveness…
“To forgive is an act of kindness that helps other people heal in God’s light as well”
Psychology defines forgiveness as the intentional and voluntary process by which one who may initially feel victimized undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding a given offence, and overcomes negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance (however justified it might be).
Sometimes, forgiveness is not always an easy thing to do.
“Forgiveness might be hard to find, but it is worth giving”
The offence might be as “minor” as someone telling lies against you at home or in your place of work or as “great” as being raped. Whichever it is, it can be hard to forgive, but when we realize that as often as people hurt us, we also hurt others, we then understand that everybody deserves grace.
“Don’t forget that we received forgiveness, and in turn, should be kind and forgiving to those around us”
We all need to offer grace to others especially to those we think are undeserving because, you have been offered grace too.
When we forgive, it is not just about the other person. It’s mostly about us, our peace, sanity and progress.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you” – Lewis B. Smedes
Forgiveness, A Gift.
Love brings about forgiveness. You cannot forgive someone if you don’t love them.
“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love” – Bryant H. McGill
We just celebrated the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and the meaning of the sacrifice he did for us on the cross of calvary (Easter).
On that cross, Christ exchanged our sins with his righteousness. He stripped us off our cloth of unworthiness and wore us his spotless garment, then called us worthy.
What a transformation!
He took our charges of sin and guilt in the court of justice and we were discharged and acquitted. What a freedom!
If we were forgiven of our many sins, then who are we not to forgive others?
“Don’t forget that we received forgiveness, and in turn, should be kind and forgiving to those around us”
Unforgiveness can be a major setback to progress just like it happened to the two major characters in Shades of Blue.
What has been your greatest hurt?
Who did that to you?
For how long have you been struggling with letting go?
It might require that you go make peace in person. Please do it. It’s a phase, and it will definitely pass but you need to find closure first.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong” – Mahatma Gandhi
You are that strong person, go make peace🕊️.
You have all my love,
I’m rooting for you.
P:S- If you enjoyed this post, please recommend and share to help others find it! What’s your thought on this post? Feel free to leave a comment below.
Forgiveness indeed frees the mind. Not exactly an easy feat, but God’s grace and strength helps through the process. Just telling God as simple as the words can be – God this particular action hurts me a lot and I’m struggling hard to let go, please help me.
Forgiveness doesn’t always come easy but God’s grace makes it a lot easier.
Thank you for sharing, Mary.
Forgiveness is profitable to you first, as it frees one’s mind and gives the chance for healing.
Nice read
Yes, Victory. Forgiveness is profitable to us first, before the other person we want to offer it to.
I’m glad you found this piece a good read.
Nice write up as usual. Have a question, not being able to forget a wrong doing of someone does that connote unforgiveness?
I guess you haven’t thoroughly forgiviniy yourself sir..most times we hold unto to something because we haven’t allowed the holy ghost deal with our heart concerning a matter… forgiving yourself first..is forgiving another
Hi Osazie, thank you so much for your contribution.
I understand your point of view, however, there are some memories that will remain with you for as long as you live e.g. and abortion experience. This is a major experience and it is not something that one can forget even after the person has come to Christ.
When forgiveness happens, the pain of hurt and all the other negative emotions the person feels for themself and other parties involved in the experience will be gone.
They no longer hold any offence against themself and the people involved.
In many instance, it takes God’s grace to truly forgive.
Nevertheless, I appreciate your response, Osazie.
Hey, Sir D, thank you for your question.
Forgiveness doesn’t automatically delete the memory of the wrong doing someone did to another person. There’s every tendency for you to remember what the person did to you especially if circumstances warrant that you share that part of your story (e.g. a rape case).
What forgiveness does is that it no longer allows you hold a grudge against the person that hurt you, even though you remember the experience. It let you release the person from your heart and hand over the situation to God.
So, yes it is still possible to forgive someone and still have a memory of what they did to you.
I hope I have been able to answer your question, Sir D?
Thank you so much for reading through.
It’s clarified now. Thanks
I would say no sir. There is no way on earth you wouldn’t remember, at least for a while. The forgetting part means you don’t allow that past to affect your relationship with that person. Even though God on every account knows we were once sinners, He gives us limitless grace like we had ever been His own.
This is well said.
Thank you for sharing, Joseph.
In my opinion, forgiving and forgetting are not actually the same thing. However, how you use the memory of what the person does is the important factor. For me, if you don’t use that memory against the person then your forgiveness is intact.
“How you use the memory of what the person does is the important factor”
An interesting point of view you’ve got.
Thank you for sharing, Abiola.